


But I will always love you, too.

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: :(, F/M, major OOC-ness, my emo space child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2018-06-06 16:18:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6761200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He could never bring himself to forget it. He couldn’t forget how his anger took over, forget how she tried to explain herself, forget the pain in her [e/c] eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But I will always love you, too.

[Name]’s eyelids were shut and her arms were crossed over your chest. Her usual [s/t] complexion had turned pale and her lips were dry. Her [h/l] [h/c] hair was fanned out on the surface with all kinds of flowers in it. Handpicked and placed by Kylo himself. She was dressed in a black long-sleeved shirt and trousers, as well as leather gloves and boots. Kylo had his mask on to prevent others from seeing his emotions, his _grief_. His hands were shaking visibly as he walked behind the four Stormtroopers that carried the black casket. The casket was decorated with leather and the top was covered with transparisteel. “Has… has her body been preserved?” He asked the woman dressed in chromium armor beside him. The shake in his voice was clear but he didn’t care. This—[Name]’s death—was his fault. _She wouldn’t want to see you sad_ , the voice of his conscious said. Captain Phasma simply nodded and continued walking forward. Even in a situation like this—a _funeral_ —she still had her blaster in her hands.

Kylo never realized until now that [Name] did all this for _him_. She came to the _Finalizer_ with him. She followed him when the Jedi massacre happened, only because she _loves_ him. He was hesitant but her serious expression convinced him otherwise. And now, he regretted it. Ever since she ‘joined’ him, she’d been helping him with everything. She helped him cope with his emotions. She helped him with strategy. She helped him with _everything_.

And because of his carelessness, he had stabbed her with his lightsaber. He didn’t listen what she had to say. Just believed in his conscious that she was lying. That she betrayed him. That day was still engraved deep into his memory. He could never bring himself to forget it. He couldn’t forget how his anger took over, forget how she tried to explain herself, forget the pain in her [e/c] eyes. He’d never forget the way her hands shook as she stuttered out her words, trying to explain herself until an excruciating pain shot through her.

He watched as the Stormtroopers put the casket down in a chamber that had windows for walls. The stars shone brightly in the darkness and he knew she’d love this place. She loved stargazing. As soon as the casket touched the ground slowly, he dismissed everyone, leaving him alone with the lifeless form of someone he loves. He walked close to her, step by step and took off his mask. He held the mask in his other hand and crouched down so that he was closer to the transparisteel cover. “I’m…” he choked out. “I’m sorry.” The word seemed unfamiliar to him but he knew she’d want him to say this. She wanted him to say this to his parents, _to himself_. “The stars in the sky are nothing compared to my love for you. I… I could’ve listened. I could’ve apologized. But I didn’t. I’m taking this chance… to say that I’m sorry for any pain that I’ve put you through.” He left a kiss on the window, not caring how ridiculous this looked. “I know you can’t hear me, and it’s too late. But I will always love you, too.” There was a heavy feeling in his chest, the same feeling he felt when he killed his father—Han Solo—the same way he did to her. He stood up to his full height, put his mask on and walked out the chamber, his black robes flying behind him.

The words she said before she died. The words she said when the lightsaber shot through her body. He will never forget her last words to him.

“ _I will always love you, Ben Solo._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> Have some half-assed angst.  
> I didn't know what I was writing. Coldplay gives me feels.
> 
> ~~what the fuck ramsay dont do that to my son theon :^((~~


End file.
